When something bad, or sad happens in life the tendency is to avoid it, deny it, and just carry on with life. When what you should do is feel it, examine it, and grieve the loss. Sexual addiction is a failure to grieve, it’s an unwillingness to feel. I would love to recommend to you a good book on grieving, but I don’t know of one. Probably tough to pay the publisher with a book that says “sit in the pain and feel it. If it hurts real bad and you cry a lot you’re doing it right.”
To a rookie on grieving it feels somewhat like depression, but it’s not. Depression is hopeless, but grieving is cleansing, breaking, crushing, dismantling with the purpose to rebuild. Depression want’s you dead, grief is preparing you for the rest of your life. To really live, you have to feel.
Porn numbs the hurt and has kept you from developing. As you establish sobriety…wow!….a bunch of crazy feelings come to the surface like a volcano pouring out…usually as crying, or anger or both after years of suppression. When this happen’s, don’t be alarmed, you’re doing it right, it’s the Holy Spirit healing you, going deep, getting you current, setting you free. The shortest way out is through, let it happen, let yourself feel. Get good men and women around you that understand the process and walk it out with them. It will take time, but know that on the other side of some hurt is a whole lot of happy.