King David is the model for sexual purity in the Old Testament. Your homework if your looking for some is to read his story. Then read it again. As I do life, many times I have asked myself “what would David do?” I have connected with his outsider to insider transformation over several decades of good God decisions. I have until recently been bugged by what I have read as his passivity toward problems with his men, son’s/daughters. Why did he let that stuff go? I wrote it off as passivity. But after a personally pretty crazy heart surgery type of summer with a hard look along the lines of acceptance I had an “ah ha” moment. Here it is:
David lived under the shadow of rejection most of his life. His brothers and father rejected him. His king tried to spear him, his men wanted to stone him,and his wife who loved him came down on him for getting naked. When you have been under a cloud of rejection, you begin to expect it. Patterns start to form. It’s like the unmarried woman who is in her upper 30’s. A cloud of rejection seems to follow her around. “No one picked me, I am unacceptable.” When we give into the cloud our spirit starts to close off, we just can’t handle the rejection anymore, it hurts to much. In doing so we push away opportunities for the very thing that we need. Acceptance.
To get what you need, you have to give away what you don’t have. David was rejected. Even though he was awesome with great victories and a loyal following the cloud just seemed to keep following him. I am guessing that his mother died as we never heard about her in the quiet detailed story about his life. He most likely took that as rejection as well. But David didn’t give into it. Under rejection from his family, he accepted the blessing of Samuel. Under rejection from his king he accepted the love of Jonathan. When rejected by his wife he countered it with his acceptance from God over that of his father-in law. When rejected by his men, he strengthened himself in the Lord.
David, in his rejection, accepted everyone. He thought the best of people. Though King, he never cut off any-one’s head. In his rejection he gathered the rejected at the cave of Adullam (which means “refuge”). He wasn’t passive with his relationships, he was accepting because that is how he met the need of his own personal rejection’s. He reaped what he sowed. So when in doubt he played the king of hearts and gave away what he didn’t have. Acceptance.
Two years ago 4th of July while shooting off fireworks my son asked me “what do you want next dad?” (meaning fireworks to shoot off). I, half in jest said “I want unconditional love and acceptance.” That was one of those comments that happened to be prophetic. A year later on the 4th of July after a really crappy year in a lot of ways God spoke to me with a very clear thought “You’re so angry because all you want is acceptance.” Wow, ok. If that’s what I need then I went to work. I started to track it down. I wrote two pages of significant times in my life where I have been rejected, ouch. Then I asked Jesus into those places to heal me. To lift the cloud that has been following me that pushes away the very thing I need, and He did.
Half of the battle is finding out what you need. When you know, you can do what you need to to go get it. Look to the life of David and ask “what would David do?” Then go and do it purposefully. We pick what we plant and If you need a hug, give one. If you need $, give some away, no strings. If want/need acceptance, love the broken, the discontent, the indebted, and the rejected in a place of refuge and you’ll find what your looking for.
Above all David went to his God. In Psalms 27:10 he said “Though my father and mother forsake me, the LORD will receive me.”He spoke it out loud. He wrote it down and put it to music. He was honest. In doing so he connected with heaven and reminded himself that God accepts/loves him and then lived out of that place of acceptance by giving it away to others.
Down deep at the core of a penis problem is acceptance. The need for it will pull you to violate your own values by sending you into the arms of another woman/man. When you solve this core issue, then you stop mowing off the top of the weeds and instead dig them out by the roots. We need it, God has it, now go get it.