What we do at ManAlive is get better. It’s about better. Even if you’re doing great, there is always better. We applaud better no matter how much, even a little because better is what we’re after. Better at work, better at play, better in our marriage, better in our communication, whatever the better is, we’ll take it, it’s good.
When you have a mindset of better and you’re always progressing toward better you get a natural hunger for everyone you know to get better. When you have been working on personal radical self improvement for a while it becomes easy to see what other people around you need. Your hard work becomes a gift to everyone you know. Even those you have just met.
Men are created to leave their world a better place where ever they go. That is what men do. When you have time with someone, help them by moving them somehow and in some way toward better. Just as it usually takes 14 steps along the Engel Scale to conversion it takes similar steps toward changing behavior in other areas of our lives. Our job is to move everyone we spend time with, everyone we come in contact with along the Scale closer to God and somehow closer to better.
Getting ourselves to better is painful, our better is work but helping others get to better is fun.
When you are living in the better you stand in a place of power and benevolence to help those around you who are hungry for better to get there. Everyone wants to get better, but most don’t know how to do it, they’ve been beat up. They have accepted mediocrity, they’ve lost the hunger, the hope, the vision. For those walking dead that are are trapped in complacency and empty routine use the tools that you have worked so hard for and kick the down the door and drag them out of that burning house they are in.
The more you’re living life, the more opportunities you have help others get better.
Let me repeat, it’s our job to leave people better than we found them. In some way, anyway. From hitch hikers, to repairmen, government bureaucrats, school officials/teachers, law enforcement, employees, the check out lady, our hairdresser, to the teller at the bank. Bring the love, the honesty, ask questions, and use your insight in every conversation you have to release hope.
Complement, don’t flatter. Smile. Project a positive mindset. Use humor, be intelligent, interested, and caring. If you do all those things you will radically affect peoples day, week, year, and life. There is no way I could get close to counting the times people have come up to me and thanked me for something I said. They repeat the comment I made…but most times I hardly ever remember saying it, …sometimes it doesn’t even sound like something I would say, but they remembered it and they got better because of it, pretty cool.
The rewards to helping others are eternal, and they come in the moment too. With a facial expression, a returned smile, a noticed change in their thought pattern, an aha moment. The rewards are ongoing too, we reap what we sow, so plant generously every time you you get the chance.
Our approach to leaving people better should be determined by how much future time we will have with them. If it’s a classmate, someone on your baseball team, someone you work with, or in your small group take your time getting to know them, collecting information, modeling, and planting seeds. If it’s someone you are in a 5 minute bus transport from the airport parking lot that you know you will never see again bring the heat and move them along the scale to better with the time that you have.
One of my favorite people to influence is the person who cuts my hair. Every 6 weeks you sit down in the chair and you get 20 minutes alone with someone. They think you came to get your hair cut and you did, but more importantly you came to improve their life in some small way.
Let every connection be an opportunity. Purpose yourself to give away what you worked for and you will receive many times more back in returns that will come in surprising and satisfying ways for the rest of your life. These “leave them better” moments are deposits in a high interest bank account, but more than that they give purpose to everything you do, and on going value to everything that you have done.