Ah…the holiday season. Turkey in the oven, College football, family and friends traveling from afar. A nice fire going, Christmas cards, a good book, life is good for sure. It’s also a tough time of year for a lot of people. The winter blues, taxes, and broken relationships, especially those of family. For a man doing the work to get his penis under control the holidays separate the men from the boys. Even for a man who has been doing good, beware. The holiday season can be kryptonite,..so prepare, pray, and be smart.
This is blanket statement…but real close to accurate. Men with serious heterosexual struggle have Mom issues. Those with same sex attraction/Homosexual struggle have Dad issues and the Holidays bring it out because….well, we all go home, whether we actually go home for Christmas or not. The next six weeks is like a State of the Union on your personal internal health. Even if you have been doing great just go to a family party of some variety and if you have a button,… that will be the place it gets pushed. Remember that when it hurts, there is something the Holy Spirit wants to heal. Let Him. Process through it. If you don’t have the friends yet to do it with, see a counselor that asks great questions but also has the stones to say what needs to be said.
Always remember, that if it hurts, your doing it right. Don’t rebuke it, it’s not the devil. Its the Holy Spirit wanting to heal you. The take every thought captive scripture in 2 Cor 10 has been used as a religious form of denial for centuries. You don’t run from something and then take it captive. You attack it, capture it, and make it submit. Your thought life is a reflection of what is going on in your heart. Thoughts have been floating through your head that have hurt attached to them. Your heart wants to be free so your head lets those memories come up in hopes of you properly processing them so your heart can be rid of the toxin. Let it happen. Find a friend/counselor and talk about them. Pray through them. Forgive where you need too. Ask forgiveness and make amends where you can. You’re on your way to freedom.
Men know how to suffer. Pain is good, embrace it. If you’re suffering spend some time reading 1 Peter. Meditate on verses like 4:1 Since Christ has suffered in the flesh, arm yourselves also with the same purpose, because he who has suffered in the flesh has ceased from sin. You don’t sign up for the football team, get your gear and go running out on the field with your golden helmet shinning in the sun without some serious suffering to get you there. You gotta go through hell week, be committed, face rejection, injury, and get over all the mental wall’s that make you want to quit before they put your name in paper. If you’re on the field you are playing hurt, its part of the game.
Making it sexually clean through the holidays is an excellent goal, and a great accomplishment. Some great advice is to stay connected with men who know you well and can pray over you, and into you what you need. Holidays give us a lot of free time, so be deliberate about what you do with it. Make it relational and have fun. Cut some wood, have a snow ball fight, go turkey hunting, look up an old friend. Isolation is the enemy of purity. Also, go easy on the alcohol. Amazing how many dumb things happen drunk.
When your married, sexually pure, and fully connected to your wife there is nothing like holiday sex. If you’re not having great sex, know that purity is the prerequisite, so get after it. Beyond that gentlemen, don’t forget to watch Charlie Brown Christmas, Elf, Rudolf the Red Nose Reindeer, and take lots of naps. Merry Christmas, and may this year be the best year of your life.