Everyone of you reading this blog is a leader. I know that because readers are leaders and it’s to you I write. I have no desire to create followers, or build a ministry. I go to group for me.
I care a lot about the men that come to group and have a great capacity to love deeply. That ability is a gift that I’m grateful for but it only goes so far to help other men get better. As a leader I am fully aware that to help a man I can only care as much about him getting better as he does. If I care more than he does I create codependents, and nurture victims. That’s the last thing I want to do, so I hold the line. I care as much as they do. They’re healing depends on them, how much they want it, and the transforming power of Jesus Christ. I get to participate, to help steer the ship if you will, but they’re the ones up on the fore deck doing the work.
I was taking a swim yesterday at the lake and I thought about how much I enjoy making the uncomfortable comfortable, and the comfortable uncomfortable. Then my mind went to all the times that Jesus did that and it pretty much sums up his life here on earth. He did it because he loved people. He didn’t call people “son’s of devil” or kick over tables and beat people with a whip because he had an anger problem. He did it out of love. Because he loved people he pushed people to get better, to change. He called them higher, he got up in there business and said “you’re better than this.”
So it is with us. Jesus is in us and he pleasures in pulling men in, and pushing them to better. Just loving them is not enough. Some need a hug of acceptance, and others need a boot in their glutes that moves them to action. I don’t have a formula for this except that I look for what each man needs, and then do what is in my power to help them to the level they want to be helped, and sometimes that is making them uncomfortable. A purposeful hurt that is meant to heal.