I was recently asked how do you know how much to share. My answer was it’s better to over share, than under share. Start with saying to much and dial it back over time. It has become very clear over the years that the men who say to much get better significantly faster than those who say to little. When it comes to sharing in small group, If your not sure, over share. If you go to far your small group leader will let you know. Over share as much as you can, but keep from specifics that will draw pictures in other men in group’s mind. Other than that, dig deep, and say things that you have never told anyone. Make it a personal competition to be the most honest man in your group each week. If you regularly win, you will get better faster than the rest.
A small group leader is the leader by more than title when he is the most honest man in his group each week. He goes to group for him, he is dangerously honest, he continues to get better in every other aspect of his life. In this way he models how it’s done, but he didn’t do it to be a model, he did it for him. That’s the type of leader, the kind of man that produces fruit that lasts. Eternal treasure.
Outside of the group the question shouldn’t be who should I tell? But rather, who shouldn’t I tell. We’re as sick as the secrets we keep. Shame keeps you trapped. When you air it out, your past sin has no power over you. Shame keeps you hidden telling you that others will shame you, some will, but few. Those who do most often have an internal struggle of their own, it’s reverse judgement coming back on them. Most will reciprocate with nothing but grace, understanding, acceptance, and love. Exactly what you need. In living your life out in open, in the light, you get the relationships you need to get and stay better. The very thing you were scared to lose you never had anyways because you were not living honestly, it wasn’t you in those relationships, it was the boy who you pretended to be. To get free, run toward the fear, run to danger and it will run from you.