Be quiet , sit in your anger and pain, identify your fears and hurts. Your outrage, your porn and masturbation, all of these are powerful drugs that you are using to medicate and keep you from dealing with you and you’ve overdosed. Horniness, Pain and Anger are not the root emotions jacking up your life, but if you neutralize them with medication you will never know. Mark Peterson has a great illustration… take that thing captive, and interrogate it, ask it why and what it is doing. Your moments of pain then become tactical, actionable intelligence.
This is why the group says sit in your pain. It’s not some masochistic self absorbed ritual, but a chance to find out what is wrong. Ask Holy Spirit why it hurts. Stop, Listen, Connect.
Remember that it is relationships that hurt you and it will be relationships that heal you. So when you find out why you hurt, make an effort to communicate that to another person face to face or voice to voice. The more personal it is the better the connection and the better the results. It is the open, vulnerable connection of what is truly going on inside you that breaks the shame and pain cycle and allows unconditional love to heal.
This is a new skill, and it will take time and practice. Give yourself room to fail, but keep gaining ground. There is hope and freedom on the other side of the pain. Next time you hurt, just sit in that pain and interrogate it, and then do something healthy about it.