There is a lot of talk out there about manhood, but few seem confident of what it is. There are 100 plus pages of books on Manhood on amazon and half of them are christian….they seem to be the most confused of all, the most unsure. We’re all on trail to manhood, we’re all trying to figure it out. Some are farther ahead than others, there are boyish parts that are yet to mature, and very manly parts of us that are glorious to behold.
Here is my definition of a man.
A man is dangerous, he gets dirty, he fixes things. He knows how to feel, what to say, and when to say it. He is strong, he protects, he fights for right and no one defines him but him. He provides, he creates a better world, a constantly improving place to live, he is good at what he does. He is a competitor, he works for no man yet serves many. He admits when he was wrong, but not often, and he knows when he is right. He helps those that are down. He says I love you, and means it. He is a musician, a teacher, a poet. He dresses masculine, carries cash, has a good dog, and takes care of what he owns. He does what he says he is going to do, he pays his bills on time, he returns his phone calls. He likes old people, and little kids. He passes along expertise, he’s decisive, tells the truth, and knows how to cook. He likes bacon, coffee, eggs, steak, and beer. He takes care of himself. He has friends that love him deeply. He cries at movies/books, when babies are born, at loss, but never from physical pain. He knows his limitations, he plans for the future, and increases in knowledge. He is secure enough to take a nap, to say what he thinks, to choose a side. Men are drawn to him, they seek him out. He is proud, confident, but deeply humble. He is a builder, a lover, a fighter, and when he needs to he can pull and all nighter. He chooses his family over money, experiences over stuff. He is honest. He is wise. He admit’s his mistakes, adjusts, and moves on. He is compassionate, but firm. He is sexually pure, he doesn’t masturbate, has a great marriage, and they have great sex. He loves food, especially when he grows it, catches it, or kills it. You want him on your team, he hates to lose, but is a good sport when he does. His kids feel safe, they are loved, fully alive, secure. His wife knows him, and calls him a man, there is a peace about him, he is good, but he makes people nervous. He is dangerous.
That’s my list gentlemen, but more importantly, what’s yours? Where all different, our lists diverse. It’s not “what would Jesus do”? It’s what will Jesus do in you because we’re each a unique personification of who he is. My man list has been influenced by my environment as has yours. When I see qualities of men I like I strive to that end. Many great men I have found in books, but greater men I have had the privilege of doing life with. These greater men pull me higher, make me better, they make me strong.
We reach manhood step by step. It takes time, good decisions, mentors, and courage. Rights of passage are great but know that they are many and ongoing. Every day, every week, every month, every year. Jesus was the ultimate man model. He is in you, living through you, a man committed to you growing into the best man you can be.
We become like who we spend time with. Find men, get alone with Jesus and let them pull you higher, make you better, and make you strong. Make your man list and be that man. You have what it takes, you were created for it, you’re a dangerous man.